Religion. It is the moral compass for decision-making and how people may decide to live their lives. Our Pledge of allegiance even says, “One nation under God”. But with religion comes rules and practices you must follow. And if they are not followed there is judgment.
I was raised as a Seventh-day Adventist. I couldn’t tell you what that means, but I could tell you about my experiences with it. I was baptized as a child; I went to church on Saturdays instead of Sundays. We also followed judicial beliefs, so I was raised not to eat things like swine or crab because they were considered unclean. I celebrated some Jewish holidays, such as Yom Kippur, and would have to fast for 25 hours. I never really celebrated any Christian holidays, such as Easter or Christmas, because they were man-made holidays. But this all changed when my mother changed. One day, while my family and I were eating dinner, my little sister was praying aloud over her food, and in the middle of her prayer, my mother interrupted and told her to make sure she thanked her ancestors—not Jesus. I questioned her about it, seeing as we’ve been praying to God all our lives thus far. What surprised me is that she apologized and said, “I’m sorry for raising you in that religion.” I didn’t know myself. But that religion is not our religion. It is not what our ancestors believed.
Imagine being raised to believe something your entire life, only to have it called into question in an instant. I can’t say my mother is entirely to blame for my lack of religious faith. But she was the catalyst for my exit from it when I was 19 years old.
I’ve always questioned and had doubts about some of the things I was taught in my religion. Especially when preachers discussed topics like homosexuality. I never saw a problem with it, and I never understood why it was so bad. If it is not negatively affecting the lives of others, then why is it bad? One preacher even went as far as to say that people who were homosexuals were sick. I never liked the judgment.
I’ve always enjoyed reading since I was a child. I always preferred fiction, especially genres such as fantasy and sci-fi. To this day, my parents tell me that the preacher once used me as an example of how I would read books like Twilight or Harry Potter and how that was bad because it was a form of witchcraft and that he was teaching me that. It’s something that I will always remember because of how it made me feel. My mom reassured me, though, that I could keep reading those books and that it was fine. But 11-year-old me didn’t understand why it was a problem, to begin with.
I never disparage or dismiss religion or other people’s beliefs. But I can say I’ve never felt more judged or been so harsh on myself than when I was religious. And it saddens me because I know it has the same effect on other people as well. Transitioning from being religious to being spiritual was the start of my spiritual awakening. That transition meant adding meditation to my life. acknowledging that following religion does not guarantee going to heaven or being “saved.” I now have more respect and appreciation for nature and animals. I now realize there is energy in celestial things such as new moons and full moons. I also accept and understand that Christianity was taught to my ancestors, but it is not what they believed initially.
My days now consist of acknowledging that manifestation is real and that what you speak out into the universe can be heard. My practices are now what I choose for them to be. I may wear certain crystals or stones. I tend to write out my manifestations or things I want to rid of or cleanse from my life and put them underneath a burning candle. I try to listen when the Universe is trying to tell or show me something whether it be in the form of angel numbers, a quote, or another person speaking wisdom to me.
For anyone else out there who is questioning their religion… You are not the only one. It is not blasphemy. This is why I identify as spiritual. I think one can have a relationship with God, the universe, or whomever without having to practice religion. And I’ve never felt more liberated. I feel like I’m getting to know my true self because I no longer have the pressures and judgments that come with religion.